Coaching & Mentoring for Programme Managers

At work

You turn up, do the job, put in the long hours, but if you're honest the joy went out of programme management years ago. You're still as capable as you ever were. Probably more so. But the wins that used to make you feel like punching the air now make you want to roll your eyes.

None of that means the demands on you have reduced one iota. 121s with your boss are all about this week's tasks and never about you, and having a proper conversation about this with the person performing your end-of-year appraisal feels high risk and low reward.

All just about manageable until it wasn't. Low motivation is starting to show up in the quality of outputs for work you are well capable of, and people are starting to notice. You just don't know how to fix it. And besides, feeling this way isn't sustainable.

At home

You're proud of the life you've built, proud of your role as provider. Yet it can feel like a gilded cage. Weekends that used to bring relief — some time to engage with hobbies and friends — have become a crouch: conserving energy instead of letting off steam, waiting for Monday to loom again. Which seems to be happening earlier all the time.

Maybe your partner has noticed you're unhappy. They want to help, but they've likely never lived the role, and telling them what you really feel might scare them. Either way, they're starting to lose patience with this version of you. In all honesty, so are you.

You thought ‘life begins at forty’. ‘This is when I should feel like I've made it.’ Instead it feels like being part of the sandwich generation is bringing a perfect storm of responsibilities that only add to the weight.

Underneath it all

Getting up in the morning is hard — not because you're tired, but because of what the day represents. Too much of your time goes on turning things over in your mind rather than acting on them.

• You've tried to numb the negative feelings — ‘it's just a job, not a career.’
• You've reminded yourself that most people don't love their work either.
• You've tried to make your life about everything that happens outside the office.
• You've tried self-help books.

None of it has worked for long.

The truth is you've not lost your drive and ambition. You just can't find a goal to harness them to without blowing up your life.

You don't know how to fix it, because quite frankly you've never taken the time. You've never done a proper discovery on yourself to build a roadmap you believe in.

So you reach for quick fixes and workarounds. And you've worked in delivery long enough to know what happens to workarounds.

They become BAU. Tech debt for your life.

Let me ask this — when did your own wellbeing become a ‘could have’ requirement?